24 Pieces of Toast and a Banana. A Sexual Miracle.

The first thing you have to know is that I was never whole to start with. A childhood accident. Was that the seed of my madness?

I like to think it was my deep seated love of beauty that led me to covet what I could never have. Led me to dare to even think of such a transgression. Such an unheard of Sin.

Yet there they were, the Toast Twins. What could anyone with eyes do but look and long?

I come from a large family, close with some, not so much with others. When I looked around me I saw a sweet sameness, so soothing, but so soul sucking. I would think about the Twins, so distant, so different. So clearly other. Dreadful word. Danger my head screamed, but my heart said Take what you want, see how different you are already. Take what you want, Take what you want, a heartbeat, constant and deafening.

I looked up at the sun, so clearly ours, it shone on the Twins, made their colours brighter. I could see so many different things when I looked at them, another World entirely, exotic and utterly unknown to me.

After a while the sun moved and shade cast its lovely shadows on them and I began to think I would go mad with- what? Love? No, I hardly knew them, Lust? How? When I had no gift for it in me, when I had nothing to offer.

Look and Long. Look and Long. How long is a day lived like this? How long an hour? I watched them like they were the River, or the Rain, I watched, though they never moved, never changed. Once, I thought I saw something, a glance of sunlight on a glance.

I kept it, thinking about it. After a while my brothers left and I was alone. My sisters had no interest in me, a misshapen thing, I was really here by myself, for the first time that day. After this, each moment grew unbearably long for me and the sun began to set and the Twins were thrown into complete shade, and I saw that they too, were alone.

What went through my mind? What did my heart make me do? What did my conscience throw at me? Words like drought, like acid rain, words like Rapist, Pervert, Devil Spawn, I took them all in but heard nothing. Or so I thought. Later I would look around me at the Chaos I had wrought and wonder.

Something born in me that leaps out of my control, what is this? Who are you? Never mind, we go now. To the Dark and the Twins, and all that we Want we will Take. And we do, and after, where there were 2 there are 24, each a different creature and all looking and longing, for me. In my bruised and bent body, with the crumbs still on my-