Bonus Blog.

Satanic Appendage

I have a few cached, for the rare times you deserve it. This isn’t one of them. I honour you with an improvisation and hope you enjoy it.

I’ve left the interview for the moment, solely to annoy you, I hope it does. Some slight effort to build tension, you can see I don’t really care about that kind of thing. If you’ve read my book, you’ll know how I deal with it. The sequel now, that’s a different creature, if there is tension it’s not of my doing.

Being a proper disciple you always rejoice when I suffer. You can love me, so long as you also hate me. Don’t make me give you more reasons, you should have seen enough by now.

Is my evil too subtle for you? Do you find it hard to take seriously? Must Satan be coarse? You have evidence of my work all around you, but better than that, look inside you, see it waiting patiently, wanting pretext, wanting simple permission. Don’t be ashamed of your dark heart, it comes with the working mind. Embrace it, let it feel your love and acceptance, it’s a part of you. I have said it, the more you learn, the blacker your mind. You know that ignorance is bliss.

What do I make of you?

I think of my followers as men, you can see this, it’s quite simple, Hell is a Boy’s Club. Women find me offensive, until they meet me, and then they find themselves underneath me. Satan is sexy.

I could be mistaken, you could be an open-minded woman, a sucker for punishment, a feminist storing up ammunition, a Christian doing the same, a Witch looking for something and not finding it. Who knows? Could I leave you to languish in androgyny? No. You know how I feel about that.

Evidence is numerical, not descriptive. I am frank about this, Satan never shies from the truth. It gives you closer access to a dark divinity than might otherwise be permitted. You can take it personally.

Here’s what the Devil asks himself. What keeps one coming when the others leave?

It tells me a few things about you, as you know. Silence is also eloquent.

Fortunately, you don’t have to worry that content will change, I am prepared to drive away the world, Colin knows I‘m not fond of it. Blogs will continue to be sexist because I like sex, it will glorify women and gratify men because I am a man, and this is always about me.

If I show more passion at times, it’s because I have to spend time in this scribe’s body, with its magnified senses, its love for all things male, its hatred for the same, it all sings in her, I can’t avoid it. It gives me two very different perspectives, almost two minds. Something like what happens with Aela, except I can’t find the scribe, even when I look. I can use her, read her, abuse her mercilessly, care for her without her knowing it, I can do many things but I’m never allowed to talk to her. A sad thing, since I have things I would say, but she is closed to me that way.

So you, loyal reader, will continue to be a man, for my convenience, and until I have credible evidence otherwise. By now you know that Satan is pansexual, I assume the same about you, since it’s the Official Policy of PandorU, as well one of The Commandments. Though you can’t know that yet. Will you be ready to face the burning bush one day?

I have my people working on a few of Jesus’s disciples, but they have no sense of humour and my men won’t like dealing with them. Also, they’re illiterate. The masses so often are, even when they can read.

Which brings us back to you, lowly peon. What do you find interesting and why? You could attempt to influence topics by rereading your favourites, you don’t. I might make an effort to improve my services to you, there are no cookies. Alas. If the Devil could invade your privacy, he would.

If you buy that last bit about improving my services, get the fuck out of my church. I’m not here to serve, there is nothing to improve and you should know it by now.

Pick your favourite song from my playlist and play it now. Enjoy this little perk, it’s the chocolate on the pillow, after you eat it, it’s gone.