Halloween. Keep Your Witch employed.
The Book doth come, children, fear not. It languishes in other hands now, and torture is not an option there, so the devil cools his heels. Well, not really, I have my witches working on it.
Witches are handy creatures, it’s beyond me why they have such a bad reputation. History paints them all ugly; your finest art likes them naked and writhing, apparently I have quite an effect on these women. Achieving ecstasy without me, even, though they like at least a few demons around, along with assorted animals in various states of dismemberment.
What does literature say about them? Not much, nothing worth remembering. Reams of paper written about them, but mostly records of crimes and the torture used to invent them. Religion claims first right of destruction, we know this, what else is there? Let’s look at witch culture, in your darling little world.
True disciples will know that I have covered witches before, under the divine influence of the Gods of Despair. (See former blog about witches and Radiohead. Read it again if you’ve already seen it, everything I say remains eternally relevant.) (What if I’ve changed it?)
I will ignore WOKE, a witch hunt too tedious for words, ditto the quaint notion that someone can be cancelled. Petty evils, these, rising up like communist snitches, and dreadfully boring. Been there, done that, only better.
The true witch is the outcast. Pure and simple, in every age, every place. Is that you?
Signs to know one include any mole and an inability to feel a pinprick, administered by a witch hunter paid by the fire. You see? Find me a human being who doesn’t have a mole. Other signs include sick livestock, sudden death in the elderly, objects flying around with no purpose, and impotence. How delightful. How unlikely.
Imagine you’re a witch, think hard, pick your favourite kind and be her. Or him, but we all know Warlocks don’t get nearly the same coverage, it’s about female nudity, and female sin. It’s about their need to fuck something unspeakable.
So, you’re the Witch, with powers, what will you do with them? Fuck something ugly? I doubt it, unless that’s your thing. Fetishes, a blog for another day, remind me.
No, you will want to fuck me, the devil. For I am known to be hot in all the best ways.
Spells. Will you sicken your neighbours pig because he said something bad about you? No. You will sicken your neighbour, visit him in the night and rip out his tongue. Cook it and feed it to him, tongue is all the rage in your world. Will he complain? Not out loud.
You will strike the witch hunter dead with just your eyes, as he lights the fire beneath you. You will burn smiling, and they will understand that the fire is yours. You will carry it with you into the night, heading for me. Where you will be welcomed with something cool and sweet. This last line inserted for those who come back and reread, merci, chers enfants..
The real question is, are you worthy? What kind of witch are you?
The devil is always hiring, no hippy Wiccans or Healers. Dark cauldrons only, impress me with yours.
“Fantome X” by Scratch Massive