What Kind of Throne?

Nice clicking. Keep it up if you want to read.

Living on the edge of Madness. Sweet sentence.

According to my scribe, who knows, it’s not as much fun as it sounds. She’s a bit of a whiner at times. Let’s ignore her and move on.

Something fun today, I, Satan, will tell you all you need to know to Rule the World. The classic formula, it’s hardly changed. Goodness knows I’m not the first to offer advice, but someone like Machiavelli, (composing poetry now, in Hell), was writing for a very specific audience, steeped in their own age, seeking wisdom from the past. Seeking only that wisdom which leads to conquest. My suggestions will have to incorporate some of it, since you haven’t changed in that regard, but here in our ‘modern’ day, we have access to so much more.

Start with knowing their needs. Are you laughing?

Decide what you want them to be, then make them. Mind Control is at the top of the list, forever. Their most intimate secrets, carefully placed there. How? The ancients knew it, bread and circuses are an excellent way to begin. Two basic needs satisfied at little expense these days, since the circuses are imaginary. Here is the magic formula.

Give: Food, cheap and abundant, obesity is encouraged as a self-made disease that puts them under the care of the medical profession, who will then run their physical lives. Too sedentary to fight? Perfect. Nothing shrinks their world like ill health.

Give: Access to alcohol, drugs and sex. Control this freedom religiously, you are the Government, you can. Music next, they need it, make sure it reflects your current values. Diversity is key, your masses are all simple but they like to be simple in their own unique way, help them.

Folk, since time began, Classical, to support the Classes, Pop, for the bottom half, Country for the simple and mildly deluded, Soul, Rap, and Jazz for a particular People, thus are origins preserved, thus are they kept sacred, everything else for the illusion of freedom of expression. The Devil’s Playlist, reflecting as it does the finest music of the times, is to be strictly prohibited, since most lack the skills to hear it properly.

Provide security, false, easy to feign, arm some and let them drive around and exude testosterone.

Circuses: You have a wide choice these days, stick to digital, limit the options, increase the violence they can access without leaving their own homes, so simple. Regulate this too, appear to be making concessions. Make sure your spectacles are loaded with indecency, most of your subjects have a deep seated need to rail against something. Give it to them.

Rules, your list must be infinite and couched in terms both truly ambiguous and dreadfully sane, they must have jaws of iron. They must embed themselves. Never mind things like housing and infrastructure, they will take care of themselves, little powers safely bestowed.

After these, you have only to provide them with Purpose.

Easiest of all, War has always been a handy, reliable means of engaging your subjects, conquerors or victims, they will be interested. After that you have Religion, you’re quite welcome, make sure you stay in bed with it, it’s a valuable weapon. Religions must include their own set of rules, promote theological hostility, provide a viable God and guarantee an appealing afterlife.

Beyond this you have a duty to provide underdogs, if they don’t find their own, you will have to make some. Charities are good, anything oppressed works beautifully, make sure you secretly promote oppression. Are you smiling? Find ways to foster cruelty, create acceptable forms for them to accept.

Here you will hear something once, and never again, pay attention. I have to silence most of my brain to type this and I feel scribal rebellion even now as we waste these words and avoid That Which Must Be Said, for the sake of the integrity of my argument. Now I am the one smiling.

I say it now, reluctant, forcing myself and forcing the scribe, here it is, one of your most valuable tools when ruling the world is, close your eyes and skip this if you want, Sports. I elaborate, controlled testosterone, impeccable pretext, (like Zoos,) and massive appeal.

A brief scribal insertion, I can never resist one. Hunting with guns isn’t a sport. Look up the definition of sport, you’ll see for yourself.

Permit your subjects to hunt, they all claim ancestral reasons and we must always respect the ancestors. Plus they have no other way to kill things, for god’s sake. Only you can do that with impunity.

You see how easy this is, anyone could do it. Anyone does.

I leave you now, a few words short of what you may deserve in some paradigm, to go back to my life and Find the Fucking Witch who’s Fucking with Me. We have some serious business to discuss, I have certain Furies to loose. I may have an endless supply, but I can’t waste all my time here.

“Boys Life”  by  Small Black  and   “Deceive, featuring Sune Rose” by Trentemøller