Your God is In The Hall.

Self Portrait 113

No doubt Elvis thought this every time he entered a room. Such are your tasteless, unsexy, pasty imitations of Gods these days. Claiming much, knowing nothing.

Let’s do a little comparison, shall we?

We’ll leave the Good Lord out of it, multiplying fishes and loaves is just a magic trick. Water into wine? Sure. Don’t ask me to drink it. Remember that grapes do that all day, there’s your miracle.

Back in the day we had gods that lived in accessible places, mountains, water, priests, groves etc. You might meet one anytime, especially if you were looking, or good-looking. Some of them came down and fucked mortals, others bypassed women and gave birth from somewhere on their body. To a man/woman/creature they were cruel and vindictive, easily offended and highly irresponsible.

No good qualities, beauty is the only acceptable coin. It always has been, that much never changes. You still make gods of the gorgeous, especially if they can play dress up.

Spend some time with Aphrodite, Hera, Zeus, (nothing but fucking ambrosia, if you can imagine. Nobody slaughtered and roasted a goat, nothing real to drink, deplorable manners, the Gods of Greece are boors). Have tea with a Pharoah, lunch with the Priestess, sit across the fire from a druid. Fuck a Vestal, a holy Virgin, a beautiful scheming slut, try it with Thor and find him fiercely resistant. These are some astonishingly shallow people. Why do none of your gods have conversational skills? Or original thoughts?

What does Odin know? That he lost his eye for? He still roars in the mead hall, gropes women, collects bounty from the weak, eats meat with his hands and demands nothing from his people. What do the great gods of the wide prairies know? How to hoard rain and unleash storms. The gods of the ocean know only death, structuring their world around it, measuring their own stature by the numbers. They are greedy and capricious, easily bought and sold.

All your gods demand sacrifices. Blood splashed and spilled in the name of, pain endured so they can come to climax on your suffering. Think of it, is it likely that they want you to lead their gifts to the altar screaming for their lives? They gave you the beasts and the seeds, the grape and the olive. They torture a good man eternally because he felt you shiver and gave you fire. They blow hot and cold on you; they bring things like Troy into being.

They’re all Royally fucked up, because this is how you wrote them. This is how you like them.

Why not?

A hundred million hearts pounding, drawing breath to bring the real God into this. The new version, with the talented son and well trained dove. Three in One, they say, what a bargain. A hundred million more demanding Allah be given his say. Outrage on behalf of the One True God. Who jostles for space on the podium.

Yes, by all means, let him be heard. Is he a violent god, like all the others? No! As long as you are willing to fight for him he has no need to be violent. He will content himself with your foreskin, some arduous rituals, continued oppression of women and the weak, and some gold on his pulpit.

Does he still demand an eye for an eye? His son was a pacifist, this we know, perhaps his father disowned him for it. It had to be something truly offensive for him to let you nail his only offspring up. You can imagine the dinner talk between those two. “Did it hurt- much, son?” Silence and a napkin thrown down on the table. It played well in hell; you can be sure.

But the man himself still looks like a hardass. He has trouble making up his mind on critical issues, openly hates more than half of his creation, and demands money. The very least a responsible god must do is control his literature. If his voices say stupid things he must silence them forever. How many disagree about me? You would never know.

Schism in the descendants of Mohammad? Impossible. In God’s Holy church? Which one? Point blank contradictions, false words spoken that become gospel, any and all reasons to fight. That above all. Make your people fight each other, set your finest creations at each other’s throats and demand your blood in new ways. Tell me you’re not evil, God.

You’re too old school for Hell, we wouldn’t have you. The devil is an enlightened creature and is very careful with whom he consorts.

“CARONTE”  by Apparat   Just because.